Come in, number 69 - your time is up!

A fossil showing a creature which came out of the water to live on land 375 million years ago has been discovered in northern Canada .  I’m surprised it stayed on the land, because it was found 600 miles short of the North Pole, and if there wasn’t a set of warm towels lying by the water edge and a mug of hot chocolate, the 9-foot alligator-type animal should really have thought, “Bugger this.  This is far too cold - I’m going back into the water.”  Because of this brave (probably several jumper-owning) alligator-like creature, it meant Man was created and we can live to appreciate the link between land and water – except at Balham Baths – a place which was not so much water, more nine-fifths urine.  The animal was like a Tetrapod. This is like a Vanillapod, only not as crunchy and slightly less white.  I think I was at school with such a creature.  There was a lad in our school who said nothing during classes, but when it came to the school swimming tournaments he made Free Willy look like a man with hydrophobia.  Hydrophobia is not to be confused with hydraphobia, which is the fear of hydra.  (These were tricky to cut up in Biology too – unless you were unlucky to have a many-headed one visiting the Biology Lab.)  The animal is said to have lived in small streams, so for those of you who like to go fishing on an early Saturday morning, if there are any still alive (and remember they’re 9-foot long) you might want to take some extra maggots.

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