The lights are going on all over England and turning them on in your town will be someone you've never heard of - or possibly though dead. Let's hope the fueses have been checked or they just might end up like that.

Writing poems doesn't guarantee success and fame in Scotland. Having humps and being photographed once evey three decades does.

Attention-seeking parents are increasingly calling their children by odd names. Your author, Rapunzel Charlene Voldemort III, begs to differ

Another great horse racing legend goes to the great Dick Francis novel in the sky, shame, because he was in line for the Charlton job

Don't you just miss those public hangings we used to get before they built the Odeon, marble Arch?

If you're thinking of setting fire to any public building tonight. Make sure you've cleaned your etth.

Carry On Nurse alive and well and showing in a keyboard near you