Mike Richards

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Total: 154,602
since: 1 May 2007

March 2005



Hogwarts 'n' all

Thursday, 31 March 2005 9:56 P GMT+01
The actor who plays Harry Potter is getting taller – a shock story hit a London tabloid newspaper today. The boy, who is 15, has made the headlines because of his phantom enlargement. Could J.K Rawling have composed such an unbelievable story –

bish, bash, Bosch

Wednesday, 30 March 2005 6:18 P GMT+01
Damien Hirst has admitted today that some of his “art” is silly and embarrassing. I wonder if any of the great Flemish painters – Breughal (both of them – young and old), Bosch all the others to whom a dot-to-dot of human suffering and people

Herr today, gut tomorrow

Tuesday, 29 March 2005 12:59 P GMT+01
I was encouraged to learn that former Mr Universe, Mr (or Herr, to be nationally correct) Schwarzenegger now has a paunch which has taken him only 2 years to create. I, through the Snickers and precious little exercise diet (available at all bad book

Handy, even if they all smell of wee

Sunday, 27 March 2005 4:19 P GMT+01
There is talk of the London Congestion Charge being applied to motorcycles.  Outrageous.  I speak as an ex-biker.  I wasn’t the best of bikers, though.  I was more Jane than Peter Fonda, more Jodie than Eddie Kidd, more Mister than Barry Sheen(

Big bollocks, black bollocks

Friday, 25 March 2005 4:07 P GMT+01
This is neither a tongue-twister nor a playground skipping song this is a 24-hour after-the-event update on my vasectomy operation. I wouldn’t normally express any personal views on this site but simply comment on an element of news and try and mak

A pussy too far

Wednesday, 23 March 2005 9:03 A GMT+01
A large black cat has been seen in south-east London.  The size of a Labrador, it would appear.  Not being terribly well up on animals, would that not be a Labrador, then?  A Labrador with a vicious streak perhaps? The police have warned people, i

Holy Week Redemption

Monday, 21 March 2005 10:28 P GMT+01
I have never really been lucky or rewarded with loyalty cards.  However, as I fly to Germany every other week, I thought I would join Miles & More – the Lufthansa loyalty club.  It seems you have to fly to

Isn't "On the Buses" on the other side?

Sunday, 20 March 2005 10:11 P GMT+01
Wedding of the Year between Prince “Lord” Charles and Camilla “Stan” Bowles is to have its blessing broadcast on TV.  Either the BBC or Sky will screen it.  As it appears that neither the Queen or Prince Philip are in total agreement with t

Flu? Take 2 maggots four times a day.

Saturday, 19 March 2005 12:59 A GMT+01
Maggots are back in fashion in the medical world.  They have not been used much in medicine since antibiotics were first used in the 1940’s.  Alexander Fleming being one of the first to discover this.  There is a blue plaque up on the wall of St

Wensleydale?

Thursday, 17 March 2005 12:59 A GMT+01
Yesterday the winners of the World Cheese awards were made. The winner, for the third year on the trot was Le Gruyere Premier Cru.  This won ahead of 1,600 other cheeses.  As a child I used to eat copious amounts of cheese.  I cannot recall whethe

Glue, anyone?

Tuesday, 15 March 2005 6:49 P GMT+01
A new version of Subbuteo is being launched with famous faces on.  Obviously the first wave will have famous footballers on.  However, wouldn’t it be fun to have a team of famous people – like you can get novelty chess pieces?  The first batch

Gesundheit - not today, thank you

Monday, 14 March 2005 1:20 P GMT+01
My cough, cold, sinusitis are still with me.  I could have done with curing them all over the weekend (had nothing better to do as I spent 98% of the time blowing my nose). I could do with the fame (not to mention the money and entry in Guinness Boo

PJ Probing

Friday, 11 March 2005 11:19 A GMT+01
The last time I wore pyjamas was in a south London hospital after I had had kidney failure (I got better).  That was in 1991 and haven’t thought about wearing any since.  Even through the coldest of cold snaps.  Apart from a brush with the law i

Vituperative cleaner wanted

Thursday, 10 March 2005 9:25 A GMT+01
RTL, a German satellite TV station (which I can get in my lounge as I have a life-size version of Jodrell Bank on my roof) is running a new reality show where people can win up to £700,000 by staying in a village – not just a house – for years.

Munchstealing syndrome

Tuesday, 8 March 2005 12:07 P GMT+01
Another Edvard Munch painting was nearly stolen yesterday.  What is the attraction?  First the “Scream” gets nicked and yesterday police foiled an abortive attempt to steal another Munch classic, “Blue Dress”.  The woman in the blue dress

Amo, amas, amat

Sunday, 6 March 2005 1:01 P GMT+01
Everyone has been reading the Da Vinci Code and now, it seems, everyone will be reading The Rule of Four.  A book written in Latin from the fifteenth century.  It will, of course, be translated into English (and countless other languages a la Da Vi

dyb, dyb, dyb

Friday, 4 March 2005 12:26 P GMT+01
The cashless society becomes ever closer.  What will happen to beggars asking for change?  Penny arcades (I actually think they finally went when the old Brighton Pier had its first – and ultimately last - swimming lesson)?  People will have a r

Budgerigars at two o'clock, rear gunner

Thursday, 3 March 2005 9:38 A GMT+01
Black tie do last night.  Feel a bit tired and emotional this morning.  Glad I don’t drink, but this will be the best I feel all day.  I never fail to stand next to the band’s speaker at these do’s to have all my conversations and wonder why

Whither Les Kellet?

Wednesday, 2 March 2005 8:41 A GMT+01
My son watches WWE.  This used to be called WWF but people became offended when pandas were getting involved and being hit with their own bamboo sticks. I remember sitting with an old uncle watching wrestling on a Saturday afternoon.  Pure pantomim