Chez Mick will be the name of the restaurant I run when I jack this advertising lark in.  Perhaps it will have the success of Chez Bruce, the restaurant which has usurped The Ivy as the most popular restaurant in London.  The runes say my restauran

A new book is out called Everything a girl needs to know about football and draws on analogies such as shopping to explain the offside rule.  No doubt it also explains which Premiership teams’ shirts are best ironed, which player clearly de-foliat

Ich bin ein Berliner, said JFK commenting on the good job the eastern bloc cement mixers had done in the German capital in the early 60s.  Sadly, as the lack of people doing modern languages reflected in this years’ GCSE participants, young Jack w

I do not work in a bank, which is a good thing because today at work I have on my flip-flops (the corns have nearly all gone, so they don’t look too bad), Bermuda shorts which are best seen if you’re 100% colour-blind and a vest displaying ever-i

Whilst the National Crime Squad would not condone it, the Monarchy might have, as an Oxford scholar has discovered new evidence that the murderer of Canterbury’s answer to Larry Grayson was given, by King James, copious places of property for getti

The Isle of Wight has been voted, by National Geographic magazine, as the most important dinosaur site in the world.  This comes as no surprise to the person who stayed in a prehistoric hotel there in 1967.  The hotel, where coelacanth was always o

Following in the footsteps of Sean Combs (aka Puff Daddy/P Diddy/Diddy/Ken Dodd and the Diddymen) I am contemplating changing my name.  I have, through my forty-eight year history, already tried this.  Not, however, to the extremes of Diddy (which

Submissions to the Royal Mint are being invited for the design of the back of our coinage.  On the 50p coin (or ten bob bit if you are of a certain age) Britannia is being replaced.  On last night’s football offering, possibly Hans Christian Ande

<country-region>England</country-region>’s victory against <country-region>Australia</country-region> in the 2nd test was Channel 4’s biggest ever audience.  Imagine what viewing records would have been broken if Anthony

The British Airways strike has thwarted my early return to catch the postman delivering the summer issue of What’s New in Flowerpressing (I get it for the begonias on page 3) from my holidays in the south-west of La Belle France.  I am currently s

At 9.14 am BST some DIY 220 miles above the Earth will be taking place.  Where is the nearest B&Q when you’re in space?  Is there one at Cape Canaveral?  If you entered your postcode (I assume it starts HE something, because you’re near He

A west end of London hotel room awaits you for less than a score, to use turn of the 20th Century parlance, and for a TV in the room, a mere pony (can’t say fairer than that, love).  The man who brought us Easyjet has now introduced ways of stayin