My RSS Feeds
Ten million years before hair gel
With the discovery of "Lucy's Daughter" we now know that 3 million years ago they never had hairdressers.
In Serbia witch doctors recommend sex with hedgehogs to prevent premature ejaculation. A more memorable experience than squeezing the end, thinking the thirteen times table or "Lucy's daughter's ugly sister".
Soldiers of the future will be protected by lightweight, flexible liquid armour. Therefore, all battles will begin in a gents' toilet.
Early rushes from the new Harry Potter film have been released. Time has not aged Harry well as he is walking with a stick and has varifocal glasses. He does kill Voldemort, as he is stone deaf and couldn't hear Harry approach with his magical basket on wheels. Ron and Hermione live in Eastbourne and hardly feature in the film.
Two films and an old sitcom are to be re-made in the grounds of numbers 10 and 11 Downing Street. Pinocchio, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Love thy neighbour.